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Reblogged from milodrums  34,318 notes

xusedtoberussianx:

aspecialprovidence:

{That bitch made me so mad… I swear… It’s not that hard to be polite to someone, even if you’re not interested in them on a romantic level. UGgggg you guys have no idea how passionate I am about that.

I’D TAKE SOME POPCORN FROM YOU LITTLE STEVE

#this #sit the fuck down I’m about to give you some frickity fracking life advice #don’t be a cunt. # you never know who’ s gonna turn into a star-spangled sex god. 

Reblogged from milodrums  58,672 notes

foxyplaydate:

kirkwallers:

ask-future-twilight-sparkle:

alanjcastonguay:

jellybabiesandjammiedodgers:

apathbetweenthestars:

Source

brb drowning myself in the toilet

But which end of the hotdog are you supposed to look through??

(Ow…)

I work in a library and one time a woman came in and she wanted the sequel to the book she had just read, which she didnt know the title, author, or even the name of the sequel. All she had for me was ‘no I just read the blue one, I want the red one now’

I worked at Great Clips and we don’t do color there and so a lady asked how much color was, which is typical some people don’t know and I told her we only do cuts, perms, and styles and she said, “Oh okay well how much would it be to get my hair permed red” and I just

Reblogged from cloningdelphine  199,069 notes

fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

spockhetti:

HAHAHAHAHAH SO MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT SHE AND A FRIEND OF HERS ARE FAKING A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO TAKE HIM TO THIS HOUSE IN THE MOUNTAINS WHERE THEY HAVE YEARLY FAMILY REUNIONS BUT ONLY RELATIVES AND PARTNERS ARE ALLOWED

AND SHE’S LIKE YEAH SO WE ONLY HAVE TO ACT LIKE WE ARE A COUPLE BUT WE’RE NOT OF COURSE IT WILL BE FUN

HAHAHAHAHA M8 I HAVE READ ENOUGH FANFICTION TO KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING

That last sentence.